The Bite

I wonder if any critic used the phrase, "This bites" in the review?

Friday Double Feature - Vampire Blvd. / Vampire Strangler

Vampire Blvd. - where the word "vampire" can be used as an adjective for anything, even stranglers.

Still We Ride!

Bicycling into orange police nets apparently causes you to grow a freaky second face.

Finishing the Game

In this intense, grueling film, a group of people make a solemn pact not to quit a game of Monopoly until someone actually wins. Will they ever finish the game?

The Sister of Ursula

Is this a sequel of The Little Mermaid, where Ursula, the Sea Witch's sister decides to take revenge?

Or is it a Friends reference? On Friends, isn't Phoebe the Sister of Ursula? Why don't they just call it Phoebe? And why do they use "of Ursula" when a simple apostrophe S will work. Ursula's Sister has a better ring to it.

Tobor the Great

If by great, you mean dyslexic, then yes, Tobor, you are great.

Friday Double Feature - The Eye / Sight

Don't look!

For the love of all that is Holy, DON'T LOOK!

Simon, King of the Witches

Remember that Mike Meyers skit where he was Simon, the kid who liked to make drawings. He would always call his audience "bum lookers" and "cheeky monkeys." Yeah.

Guess who he grew up to be?

Sharp as Marbles

My favorite part of the DVD cover is how the tagline explains the title - just in case you couldn't understand it.

Pu-239

Looks like Marvin the Martian now makes independent films.

Classic British Thrillers

"I say, old chap, remember that time when you asked for one lump of sugar in your tea, and they gave you two?"

"Indeed. Was quite thrilling."

"Quite. One might even say it was a classic."

Friday Double Feature - The Beast / The Beast in Space

When Johnny Cash sang, "The Beast in Me" little did he know he was starting a film franchise.

The Game of Dad's Life

Watch adult children blame all of their problems on their father for cash and prizes.

Harmonic Wealth

Yeah, well, how come all of the harmonica players I know are dead broke?

I Wanna Be a Beauty Queen

Good luck with that, my friend.

The Whoopee Boys

This is my brother's favorite movie of all time.

He's special.

Friday Double Feature National Lampoon's Senior Skip Day / National Lampoon's Cattle Call

National Lampoon, I am ashamed to confess that I once confused you with the Harvard Lampoon.

Fine Dead Girls

Johnny thought that craigslist ad was a mataphor for something. Surprise!

Wonder Pets!: Save the Nursery Rhyme!

Television characters decide to fight childhood illiteracy. The irony should be obvious.

Moola

This udderly fascinating moooovie milks the audience and raises the steaks at the same time by featuring "cud"delly cows.

Drainiac

There's a Drainiac, a Drainiac on the floor.
And he's draining like he's never drained before.