Iron Palm in 100 Days

Day 1 - replace the tip of your right pinky with an iron prosthetic.

Day 2 - replace the tip of your right ring finger with an iron prosthetic.

Day 2 - replace the tip of your right middle finger with an iron prosthetic.

etc.

Titanic in a Tub

Some poor overweight kid is upset because now the school bullies call him "Titanic in a Tub." Thanks, evil toy boat manufacturers for giving the bullies that idea.

Babes in Kong Land

The little-known sequel to Babes in Toyland did not do well at the box office.

Curious Kitty

Imagine the twist ending where curiosity does indeed kill the cat.

Ballet Boot Camp Stretch

The Armed forces apparently take ballet.

Potty Training in One Day

Because of increasing iliteracy rates, no longer will we read books while sitting on the crapper. Now we will only watch movies! Thank you technology!

Chapter Hell

So someone decided to start marketing horror movies to dead people. Why didn't I think of that? There are millions of dead people out there, and I'm sure they like to be scared just like everyone else. Let's all hope everyone associated with Chapter Hell gets the fame and fortune they so richly deserve.

The Enigma with a Stigma

We are anxiously awaiting the religious-themed sequel, The Enigmata with the Sigmata.

The Girl in the Bikini

To: Marketing Department
Re: The Girl in the Bikini

Let's brainstorm - what would be the best cover of a movie called "The Girl in the Bikini"? Maybe a girl in a button shirt that exposes her middrift? Let me know what you think.

Bowser Makes a Movie

From the vaults of VH1's Where are They Now: Sha-Na-Na Special, we learn that Bowser went on to make a movie. A movie with a lot of half-dressed teenage boys in it. Sadly, he turned out better than any of the other members of Sha-Na-Na, especially Lennie.

Tai Chi Chih on the Rocks

I'd like a Tai Chi Chih on the Rocks with a twist. Make it a double! Last time I had some of these, I spread my arms and thought I could fly.

Mezzogiorno

I cannot tell if this is a travel video or a horror film.

Drinking Game

Usually you make a drinking game out of something annoying that is repeated over and over and over again. So expectations for this film aren't high.

The Family that Walks on All Fours

Nova exploits this walking-on-all-fours family for weeks before telling them, "You know, that back pain might go away if you just stand up. But don't do it before we finish filming you."

Basic Strength Training for Wheelchair Users

I am sure this DVD causes intense depression whenever it is presented as a silver lining to a tragedy. "Sorry about the loss of your legs, Carl, but check it out! Free DVD!"

A Visit to THE ANIMAL MAN

Children everywhere run in fear when The Animal Man whips out his lizard.

Drills & Techniques for Catchers

Let's just say when I first saw this title, I misinterpreted it.

How to Read Music

Hooked on phonics expands its domain, taking one more step towards world domination.

Sayonara Jupiter

Jupiter, throwing its weight around, makes an unprovoked sneak attack on Venus, causing Earth to enter Galaxy War II. Too bad the climax, in which Jupiter gets blown up, is telegraphed by the title of the film.

Recreational Kayaking - Essential Skills and Safety

The Essential Skills and Safety apparently include "ramming that guy in the kayak" and "propping your feet up to show that girl how you live on the edge, even though you star in a safety video."

Dickie Bird at the World's Greatest Cricket Festival in Scarborough

A DVD of The World's Greatest Cricket Festival, for those of you who want to watch the game frame-by frame.

Card Sharp - How to Cheat at Poker

Here's a great way to con someone out of $20 - tell that person you have the secrets to winning at poker and you will share it... for a small fee.

They should trust you. After all, you are a cheater.

Tai Chi for Inner Beauty

Following the lead of those "For Dummies..." books, the Tai Chi people are targeting people who think they are fugly. Don't worry, fuggos, Tai Chi is on the way!

Crazy Streets

With a cast like this, why isn't there a sequel?

Small Business Management Strategies

If the cover is indication, if you are a small business owner, you just sit back and admire how your VP made a dot-to-dot puzzle out of your world map.